Stopping in Tachana Merkazit on a Snowy Morning

By Batsheva Haber

Whose buses these are I think I know.
But he’s at home, playing with the snow;
He will not see me sitting here
To wait until said buses will go…*

Ok, I don’t know what Robert Frost was thinking! His horse was right “to think him queer”! The snow is not a time to be sitting around waiting. If you have transportation – get a move on it – and fast, before your horse crashes down and you’re stuck waiting with the rest of us for the buses to start running.

And what was Frost so excited to watch?! Yes, snow is cool to look at, but after about 10 minutes, you start getting bored. It has now been 6 hours since I first got to tachana merkazit, (so proud of myself for getting up early to leave on a 6:40 bus so I can make it home before they close the roads) and no sign of busses anytime soon.

So here, for your enjoyment, and because I am that bored, a list of things to do when stuck in Tachana Mercazit during a Snow Storm:

  1. Complain – this is your civil duty as an Israeli, the louder you are the better.
  2. Complain about those complaining around you. People, it’s only snow!
  3. People watch – a classic, but it never gets old.
  4. Go exploring around the Tachana. Did you know there is a hallway that connects the food court with the escalators? I do.
  5. While you’re at it, know that 4th floor waiting center you never wait at? Go up there and do some waiting (it’s actually kinda nice…)
  6. Try and find all the places that people are hanging their coats to dry.IMG_20131212_114941 (1)
  7. Once you’re doing that, find all the places where water leaks into the tachana. Store away that info for further evil plans to flood the place next time egged annoys you by running late.
  8. Count the amount of soldiers who try to impress some girls by boldly stating that they are going to walk to the Gush, taking their stuff, and leaving. (3 so far)
  9. Speculate how far they will get before turning around. (One was already spotted on the second floor).
  10. Go outside and try to start a snowball fight with strangers.
  11. Realize that strangers get annoyed when you throw snow at them. Also realize that it’s cold outside, so go back in.
  12. Look down on people who have only been waiting 1 hour, you have a long way to go youngster, till you’ve earned your complaining rights!
  13. Statistics homework (at least something good came out of this).
  14. Realize that you have almost no more battery left and that both your computer and phone are about to die. Start the hunt for an outlet. This is like the hunger games – only the strong survive – or have a charged battery.
  15. Come to the Realization that you are way behind the game, all the outlets have been taken long ago.
  16. I mean ALL the outlets!!
    People will get very creative when faced with the possibility of no technology.
  17. Try to remember what people did before cellphones and laptops.
  18. Set up a stakeout on an outlet. SUCCESS! My battery shall live to entertain me for another hour!!
  19. Politely say no to anyone who now wants to take your outlet from you, but offer them to connect their cellphones to your laptop – also leeches survive in Darwinism…
  20. Taste test all the coffees in the Tachana Merkazit (results to come).
  21. Hate on anyone who is uploading happy pictures of themselves having fun in the snow.
  22. Hate on the fact that you’re hating on the snow.
  23. “100 buses parked in the tachana, 100 buses in the tachana, kvish 1 opens, one bus leaves, 99 buses parked in the tachana…”
  24. Try to start a flash mob.
  25. Get super excited when the announcements being made over the loudspeaker change from “Boker Tov” to “Tzohorayim Tovim”.
  26. Then remember that that just means you’ve been here for sooo long, stop being excited and start being annoyed again.
  27. Try to do all those things you say you’ll do “if you ever have the time.”
  28. Remember why it is that you never have “the time”, you don’t actually want to do those things.
  29. Consider getting one of those massive hotdogs you always pass by in the Tachana.
  30. But then you’ll be Fleishk and no more coffee tasting – battle it out in your head, coffee wins this time, but good fight meat, maybe next time.
  31. Hate on anyone not from the Gush, why are buses going to other places??? It’s not fair!
  32. Realize that things are less crowded now that they left. Stop hating and be happy about it!
  33. Meet some new people. might as well be social, we’ve spent all this time together in one building…
  34. Consider hijacking a bus. But then turn down that idea, after realizing that driving a bus, through the snow, when I don’t even have a license to drive a car – not such a good idea… I guess I’m stuck here… Feel free to send me any more ideas, I’ll be happy to try them out.

* Shout out to Madeline, my elementary school English teacher, I guess learning Robert Frost, did come in handy some day.