– By Batsheva Haber
Dear United Nations,
On behalf of the Israeli people I would like to say – You are welcome!
It must be hard to be you! You are only well wishing people, who just want to make a difference in the world; to stand up for the weak, help the helpless, protect basic human rights, and all in all, make the world a better place.
But it is so hard! Because, believe it or not, people who go around committing genocides, raping woman, selling slaves, murdering children, or torturing and beheading people in the streets don’t really care about what some diplomat condemns.
Luckily for you, you have another option. You can choose to ignore all those monsters, and instead devote all your attention to Israel. Israel, a small country that has been fighting for survival from day one, under constant threat from the enemies that surround it. Israel, who despite all that, has flourished, developed, brought so much good to the world. Israel, the country that, more than anything, wants to do what is right. This makes Israel the perfect candidate for the world’s scapegoat.
You can now put all your efforts into investigating, condemning and reviewing Israel’s alleged war crimes. And Israel, as opposed to the real human rights violators will not only allow this, but take your words into heavy consideration, and do everything in its power to amend its faults and to appease you.
And you? You get to walk away after a long day at work and feel good about yourself. You are doing good, you are bettering the world. Yes, ISIS is growing stronger by the day – viciously murdering and torturing people. Yes, Boko Haram kidnapped hundreds of young girls. Yes, human trafficking and slavery is happening all over the world. But it’s all good! Israel has agreed to yet another one sided ceasefire with Hamas (who, by the way, is a recognized terrorist organization shooting rockets from your schools), thanks to your good work.
United Nations! We are happy to be at your service, and glad we could help your conscious! Hope you can now sleep well at night, because we and our children can’t, thanks to the rockets being shot at us – rockets that you would like us not to counter.
An Israeli Citizen.